IF YOU ARE AN ADOPTED PARENT WHO CANT DEAL WITH YOUR ADOPTED CHILD ANYMORE YOU CAN ASK ME FOR HELP

Hi, I’m Priya.I’m a 13 year old.My parents get often physical with me.they’re very abusive.they admitted to not liking me. I just want to end all of this.I’m mentally so done.i want to get adopted and start a new life.i don’t know how it’s done.

Adoption is a wonderful gift a family can give a child who needs a home. Not only can this loving act transform the life of the child, but also of the family. Are you planning to adopt a child? There may be a mountain of qualms and concerns you might be faced with. Don’t you worry! By keeping in mind certain important aspects, the adoption"process of adopting a child won’t be that overwhelming. It’s important for you to give the decision of adoption plenty of thought. Without anyone to guide you through it, it can seem like you are in a fog. Chances are that a lack of guidance may lead you to committing mistakes you might regret later. Avoid the below mentioned mistakes in order to save yourself a bad experience. Irrespective of how committed you are to the adoption plan, there are several crucial factors you should ensure you’re in the know of by leaving no stone unturned. You can gain appropriate information regarding them only by doing enough research. Here’s what you should research about: • Adoption-related expenses • Length of the adoption process • Type of paperwork required • Medical condition of the child and his/her birth mother • Emotional and psychological effects of placing a child for adoption • Local authorities and voluntary organizations dealing with adoption • Counselling related to adoption • State laws governing adoption Inadequate research about the above mentioned aspects may lead you to encounter problems later. It is extremely essential to be absolutely clear about the adoption-related matters well in advance. You get only one chance to make a first impression, and that is why adoption-profile"creating an outstanding adoption profile is so important. An adoption profile plays a gigantic role in the adoption process.Take care of the following when creating your profile: • As a prospective adoptive parent, your profile should focus on sharing genuine information about yourself. It should paint a picture of what it would be like to be a child in your family and how efficiently will you be able to meet his/her needs. Make sure to convey a consistent message through your photos and content. • Choose the right pictures for your profile, and ensure to write the perfect complimentary captions for them. • Your profile content needs to be effective enough to immediately make a connection with the reader. Add anecdotes and stories as they can make your profile relatively stronger and interesting. • Don’t try to make yourself sound perfect in your profile. Instead, show how resilient you are. Avoid overdoing the part of casting yourself in a positive light, as that may make your profile sound too saccharine-sweet and unrealistic. Focus on the concrete details such as, the level of contact you are hoping to have with the birth parents, what and how you plan to tell the child about them. Being gender-specific or adverse to age can slow down the adoption process to quite an extent. Most agencies won’t allow you to specify the gender. Moreover, prospective adoptive parents who are adamant about having a child of a specific gender may be shut out of parenting opportunities altogether. Generally, prospective adoptive parents look for tonpost.co.uk/2015/03/17/15-things-you-should-know-about-adopting-a-child_n_7315868.html"younger children. If you are among them, you may want to reconsider. Being stringent about adopting a child who’s at a specific age can delay the process. Being open-minded about accepting older children, on the other hand, can open the doors to parenthood relatively faster. Trying to arrange an adoption without seeking professional advice is possibly one of the biggest mistakes you can make. It’s important that you seek the help of an attorney or an adoption agency. A lawyer who is licensed and familiar with the adoption laws of your particular state can help mitigate some of the most common mistakes that are made when adopting a child. He/she can help you find the best licensed adoption agencies to work with, in order to ensure the smooth completion of the adoption process. Imagine this - you obtain the consent of the birth mother, but it’s only later that you realize that the consent was unlawful. How frustrating can this be! An adoption lawyer will guide you about obtaining consent from the parents of the child you want to adopt lawfully. There have been where prospective adoptive parents have been duped. They have had to bear terrible consequences. By having an experienced and licensed lawyer by your side, you can keep troubles at bay. Finding an experienced and trustworthy adoption attorney isn’t that difficult. You can ask for recommendations from your friends, colleagues or relatives. Searching online can also help you greatly. For instance, if you are looking for some of the top-rated adoption or custody attorneys in your city, you could simply search online for adoption lawyer or child custody lawyer. This will provide you with relevant results. Once you have the list of lawyers, you can choose the one that best fits your needs. The hardest part of the adoption process is maintaining your calm and being patient. The process can take months, even years before you get the right match. There’s no way of knowing how long it may take. You need to be prepared for it. You will be able to make an informed decision about adoption-related matters only by being in the right frame of mind. Adopting a child is both a beautiful and a challenging process. From doing enough research beforehand to seeking the right professional advice, there’s a lot to adoption you must bear in mind. By avoiding the above mentioned mistakes, the process will not only take place smoothly, but also save you a lot of hassle. Remember, adopting a child can be a brilliant way of completing your family. But, make sure to get an in-depth understanding of all the issues related to it well in time, and then go ahead and make the big decision. Todd A. Walters is a top family law and child custody lawyer at The Walters Law Group Ltd., based out of Illinois, Chicago. Mr. Walters is dedicated to resolving legal matters related to divorce, child custody and other family law issues. Walters and his team have ample knowledge and ability to represent such cases and obtain the best results for their clients. (Image Credit: Flickr.com)

[img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2017/05/a7d125982b7c8e74dee3e2e357790d6f_view.jpg[/img] I have a story to tell. It’s not a short one, but this is the beginning. I’m the inquisitive type. Stubborn. Both emotional and logical. At three days old I met my parents. My father wore a blue suit with a yellow tie. My mother laid me on her stomach in the hotel room and I smiled up at her when her tummy rumbled. She always said, “You may not have grown under my heart, but you grew in it.” I knew that I was loved. Always. A few times in elementary school I was teased about being adopted. “Your mom must not have loved you. That’s why she gave you up. That’s why nobody likes you.” It never bothered me. I laughed at them. My mom always made sure my brother and I knew that we were chosen. We were never mistakes. They prayed for us for years. That never stopped me from being curious. Where did I come from? What was my story? Did I look like someone out there? Do I have biological siblings? What’s the strength of nature vs. nurture? Did she care about me? Did she want to meet me? She’s like me, I know it. She’ll want to meet me. Prepare for the worst. Protect your heart. She might not be what you think. She may not want you. She might be a drug addict. She might be dead. She’s not your family. You have a family. Family doesn’t have to be blood. Family is a bond. Where does she live? I love you, daddy. I love you, mommy. You are my angels. Thank you for this life. Thank you for everything. Thank you for picking me. Thank you for loving me, even when I don’t deserve your pureness. I love you. Do you know how much I love you? Does she have my eyes? Does she want to meet me? Read More: https://sarahfittravels.wordpress.com/2017/04/28/adopted/?frame-nonce=d2d521d219

I’m not an adoption professional. What I am is an expert on how it feels to be adopted. I’m an international adoptee. I hold a wealth of knowledge and understanding about living in the skin of adoption. I was born in England. Not in London, but in a smaller place known as Bury St Edmunds. Bury St Edmunds is a town in West Suffolk on the River Lark. It is of an ancient ruin and is said to have been the site of a Roman villa and later a royal Saxon town. Bury St Edmunds is named for Saint Edmund—king of the East Angles—killed by the Danes around 870, and is buried there. I tell you this not because I’m a historian, but because I hold a deep sense of pride in where I am from and from where I was adopted. My bio mother delivered me into this world on a cold January morning. My bio father wasn’t at the delivery. He didn’t see the tears my mum cried; tears streaked with the heavy emotion of a mother preparing to relinquish her daughter to foster care. I wasn’t taken from my mum there at the little hospital in Bury St Edmunds. No, Mum cared for me for several days after my birth. Imagine, holding your baby, rocking your little one to sleep, touching tender-soft skin, smelling the sweet scent of your new child—all along knowing there would soon be a difficult goodbye. Imagine, feeling the touch of your mother and then having that taken from you. A child remembers these things, from a central and core place within. The severing is never forgotten. From the arms of my bio mother, I was placed into the arms of my foster mother. I have notes from my foster mother that I read to this day. Notes that are written in blue ink, on soft blue paper, neatly folded and placed into matching envelopes. My foster mother wrote of how I didn’t like my baths but loved being outside. She noted that I seemed to be content dressed in the beautiful sweaters and booties that my bio mother had knitted, during the months that I grew inside of her. My foster mother’s role was a temporary one, but also a critical one—offering stability and love to children like me who didn’t yet have a family to call their own. I’m told that she shed a tear when I was taken from her care. I’m told that she said she would miss me. Read full blogpost, here: http://michellemadridbranch.com/honoring-bio-foster-and-adoptive-mothers/ [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2018/06/9fc3671cdf6824c096cceba699188de9_view.jpg[/img]

I just wanted to share my story and hopefully it helps someone going through this scary similar process. I share a child with this man named (let’s call him) Gary. I got pregnant when I was very young and from the moment I had my child (let’s call him) Josh , I knew being a mother was the most important thing to me in the world. Gary and I fought constantly and sometimes unfortunately it would turn physical. You see it’s hard for me to say Gary actually ever cared about being a father, because to me it was more of a means to control me. I won’t bore you with our complicated past.. anyways after fighting in court and having his family hire an expensive attorney against me we had to come up with a parenting plan. Gary was to see Josh two days a week at his parents house and pay the lowest amount of child support possible. Gary also had to summit clean urine samples when the court asked because of his drug court orders. (Oh yes, he also has a drug and alcohol issue) . Anyways, Gary stopped coming to visits. Never paid one dime of his court ordered child support and moved to an other state without even notifying me. It has been over 6 years since Gary has had any communication with Josh. I happily got married a few years ago to a wonderful man who loves Josh as his own. So after hearing Gary had yet an other fail with his rehab I decided it was time to take action. I was terrified but knew it was the best thing to do for Josh. I hired an attorney and I suggested if you are going this rout you hire an experienced attorney with step parent adoption and TPRs. Also be prepared because it does get expensive, but completely worth it in the end. I knew Gary was not going to consent the adoption because he is a person that needs to be in control. He is all fine for someone else to raise his child and take care of him physically/emotionally/ and financially.. but in no way does that give them the write to be called his father (the world he lives in is a Delusional one). So we started the process back in February. It took a few weeks to find him because he did move to an other state but once he was served half the battle was already over with. Once he was served a hearing was scheduled. He had a little over 3 months to figure out how to come back to our state and hire an attorney of his own. In my case I was lucky... he put more effort to request to appear by phone than anything else. He never hired an attorney because people like Gary like to think that they are a lot smarter than what they really are. So hearing was in the beginning of April. My attorney was ready. The judge placed the phone call and that’s when the nerves over took me. It starts off by the judge swearing both parties in. Since Gary was representing himself he got to talk a lot more than I did. I was restricted to yes and no responses only and to be honest it drove me nuts. Gary went above and beyond. He blamed me for his drug and alcohol problems . He blamed me on why he moved (even though I hadn’t spoken to him years prior) He blamed me on why he never kept up with Josh. He even went as far to state he had given my child support checks, I would just never cash them, and if I did I would bunch them together and cash them all at once to make his account over draft. ( that made me sick to my stomach) I was being verbally attacked.. and every time my lawyer would try to interject.. she was over ruled. At that moment I was accepting defeat. I looked at my husband with tears filling up my eyes and at this point I had to try my hardest to toon out all the lies that were being said about me. I began to look at my attorney with eyes yelling at her saying DO SOMETHING!!!! Then the court room for quit. The judge looked our way and asked my attorney why this adoption was in the best interest for Josh. My attorney responded with state law facts on child abandonment in our state. She then focused on Josh’s relationship with my husband. How my husband has done all the work... so why can’t he receive the credit and honor of being his father. The judge asked Gary why Josh shouldn’t be adopted. This is where Gary shot himself in the foot. He began rambling on about how he takes full responsibility for not being there for Josh, but that at the end of the day it was my doing. He kept saying over and over again how he would do anything in the world for Josh and would even move back to the states and take Josh to see a child Psychologist to wein Gary into Josh’s life. At the point the judge then calmly asked him.... then why are you not here now? At that moment I felt like I could breathe again. For someone who had almost half a year to present evidence and make arrangements to attend an very important hearing .. he spent more time bad mouthing me and filing motions to appear by phone. When the judge overruled my lawyer he wasn’t doing to because he felt Gary was on to something, he did it because he was absorbing all the BS. He saw right through it. This is the very 1st time that this particular judge waved a biological fathers consent for stepparent adoption. I was in complete shock. The judge even went as far to thank my husband for everything he has done and he feels that Josh is better off having him as a father. At the end of the day we met all the requirements for child abandonment. Despite Gary saying he was ready now to be a dad.. he was 6 years too late. Hope this story helps someone in a similar situation. And remember at the end of the day all these judges care about is what’s best for the child. I’m not saying that only because we won. Watching my judge actually Absorbing every single word that was said and giving us a change to explain why both parties feel their position is best for the child meant everything. It’s hard to listen to the terrible things the other parent will say about you.. but remember none of that matters and the more reserve you are, the better for you and your child. Best of luck.

“I was so afraid of being seen as imperfect. What happens to imperfect things? They get sent back…” The above words were my reference of thought for much of my childhood life: you better be perfect or you might get sent back to foster care. I can recall, as a little girl, the panic I felt each time my adoptive mother would leave the house. I was certain that my foster care giver, in England, would come to America to get me while mom was away. Mom would surely have learned what I already knew — that I wasn’t her perfect girl — and I’d be returned to the place from where I came. Adoption may seem like a simple equation: a child needs a family and a family longs for a child. The process of adoption serves as the cement that fills this gap between need and longing. Only, the cement that fills the gap in an adoptive parent’s life can be the very binder that leaves a gaping whole in the adoptee’s life. This contrast is difficult for many people to understand. I’m not every adoptee and my thoughts don’t represent the whole. However, I do want to offer what I believe are ten important needs that many adoptees have in common and, therefore, would want you to know about. You see, adoptees hold a wealth of wisdom on family, love, relationship, identity, pain and healing. We’re just beginning to allow this wisdom the light it deserves. Read about the 10 needs adoptees have, here: http://michellemadridbranch.com/10-needs-adoptees-want-you-to-know/ [img]https://adoption.com/community/PF.Base/file/attachment/2017/12/1d5c86231047db75c4cfef4f611c480b_view.jpg[/img]

In truth, they really don't understand what it feels like to be adopted. They don't understand the questions in your head that you wonder about almost every day and can never answer. Or the fact that your adoption lurks in the background. It is somewhat like a shadow that never speaks. There are also feelings of being an "outsider" everyday. Another lack of understanding among people "who don't get it" is why we as adoptees can't move on and forget about the adoption. I wish we could. No one has been able to provide any direction to do that.

Dear Mom of an Adopted Child, I met you in adoption education class. I met you at the agency. I met you at my son’s school. I met you online. I met you on purpose. I met you by accident. It doesn’t matter. The thing is, I knew you right away. I recognize the fierce determination. The grit. The fight. Because everything about what you have was a decision, and nothing about what you have was easy. You are the kind of woman who Makes.Things.Happen. After all, you made this happen, this family you have. Maybe you prayed for it. Maybe you had to convince a partner it was the right thing. Maybe you did it alone. Maybe people told you to just be happy with what you had before. Maybe someone told you it simply wasn’t in God’s plans for you to have a child, this child whose hair you now brush lightly from his face. Maybe someone warned you about what happened to their cousin’s neighbor’s friend. Maybe you ignored them. Maybe you planned for it for years. Maybe an opportunity dropped into your lap. Maybe you depleted your life savings for it. Maybe it was not your first choice. But maybe it was. Regardless, I know you. And I see how you hold on so tight. Sometimes too tight. Because that’s what we do, isn’t it? I know about all those books you read back then. The ones everyone reads about sleep patterns and cloth versus disposable, yes — but the extra ones, too. About dealing with attachment disorders, breast milk banks, babies born addicted to alcohol, cocaine, meth. About cognitive delays, language deficiencies. About counseling support services, tax and insurance issues, open adoption pros and cons, legal rights. I know about the fingerprinting, the background checks, the credit reports, the interviews, the references. I know about the classes — so many classes. I know the frustration of the never-ending paperwork. The hours of going over finances, of having garage sales and bake sales and whatever-it-takes sales to raise money to afford it all. I know how you never lost sight of what you wanted. I know about the match call, the soaring of everything inside you to cloud-height, even higher. And then the tucking of that away because, well, these things fall through, you know. Maybe you told your mother, a few close friends. Maybe you shouted it to the world. Maybe you allowed yourself to decorate a baby’s room, buy a car seat. Maybe you bought a soft blanket, just that one blanket, and held it to your cheek every night. I know about your home visits. I know about your knuckles, cracked and bleeding from cleaning every square inch of your home the night before. I know about you burning the coffee cake and trying to fix your mascara before the social worker rang the doorbell. And I know about the follow-up visits, when you hadn’t slept in three weeks because the baby had colic. I know how you wanted so badly to show that you had it all together, even though you were back to working more-than-full-time, maybe without maternity leave, without the family and casseroles and welcome-home balloons and plants. And I’ve seen you in foreign countries, strange lands, staying in dirty hotels, taking weeks away from work, struggling to understand what’s being promised and what’s not. Struggling to offer your love to a little one who is unsettled and afraid. Waiting, wishing, greeting, loving, flying, nesting, coming home. I’ve seen you down the street at the hospital when a baby was born, trying to figure out where you belong in the scene that’s emerging. I’ve seen your face as you hear a nurse whisper to the birthmother that she doesn’t have to go through with this. I’ve seen you trying so hard to give this birthmother all of your respect and patience and compassion in those moments — while you bite your lip and close your eyes, not knowing if she will change her mind, if this has all been a dream coming to an abrupt end in a sterile environment. Not knowing if this is your time. Not knowing so much. I’ve seen you look down into a newborn infant’s eyes, wondering if he’s really yours, wondering if you can quiet your mind and good sense long enough to give yourself over completely. And then, to have the child in your arms, at home, that first night. His little fingers curled around yours. His warm heart beating against yours. I know that bliss. The perfect, guarded, hopeful bliss. I also know about you on adoption day. The nerves that morning, the judge, the formality, the relief, the joy. The letting out of a breath maybe you didn’t even know you were holding for months. Months. I’ve seen you meet your child’s birthparents and grandparents weeks or years down the road. I’ve seen you share your child with strangers who have his nose, his smile ... people who love him because he’s one of them. I’ve seen you hold him in the evenings after those visits, when he’s shaken and confused and really just wants a stuffed animal and to rest his head on your shoulder. I’ve seen you worry when your child brings home a family tree project from school. Or a request to bring in photos of him and his dad, so that the class can compare traits that are passed down, like blue eyes or square chins. I know you worry, because you can protect your child from a lot of things — but you can’t protect him from being different in a world so intent on celebrating sameness. I’ve seen you at the doctor’s office, filling out medical histories, leaving blanks, question marks, hoping the little spaces don’t turn into big problems later on. I’ve seen you answer all of the tough questions, the questions that have to do with why, and love, and how much, and where, and who, and how come, mama? How come? I’ve seen you wonder how you’ll react the first time you hear the dreaded, “You’re not my real mom.” And I’ve seen you smile softly in the face of that question, remaining calm and loving, until you lock yourself in the bathroom and muffle your soft cries with the sound of the shower. I’ve seen you cringe just a little when someone says your child is lucky to have you. Because you know with all your being that it is the other way around. But most of all, I want you to know that I’ve seen you look into your child’s eyes. And while you will never see a reflection of your own eyes there, you see something that’s just as powerful: A reflection of your complete and unstoppable love for this person who grew in the midst of your tears and laughter — and whose loss would be like the loss of yourself. *** I wrote this piece after reading an essay by Lea Grover titled “Dear Less-Than-Perfect Mom.” The post by Lea was wonderful, and it made me think about us moms who found our sweet babies through adoption, and how we face unique challenges. I hope you enjoy it, whether you are the parent of an adopted child or not. This post originally appeared on http://www.kathylynnharris.com/dear-moms-of-adopted-children/. Follow Kathy Lynn Harris on Twitter: www.twitter.com/kathylynnharris

Hi, my name is Karissa, my husband and I are looking to adopt. We have been married for 9 years but trying to conceive for 5 years. If there is any mothers who are looking to put your baby or child up for adoption please contact me at karisanchez08@yahoo.com Thank you and God Bless (: